Let's Get to Work.
Enter the No Shame Zone.
I like to call our sessions a NO-SHAME-ZONE. Whatever you’ve done, whatever situation you are in, no matter how bad you think it is – we will celebrate the fact that you are beginning to turn it around by coming in. Got into debt supporting a deadbeat partner? WOO HOO! Bankruptcy? We have confetti. Spent the grocery money on shoes? I’ll get some champagne. There is no shame in anything you have done or anything you have failed to do. Tell the truth to yourself and we will find a way to fix it.
Often, people are so ashamed of their money mistakes that they do everything in their power to hide them. Usually this means digging the hole even deeper to keep from being discovered. You may know this cycle: ‘I can’t let my friend/husband/wife/kids know I don’t have the money for – fill in the blank – Christmas presents? Rent? Dinner out on Friday nights? So I’ll figure out how to make it work short term and deal with it later.’ Later it is all much worse, and it is around this time that the lie begins to transfer from others to ourselves.
Every time we borrow money (this includes credit card purchases) that we know we cannot pay off in a reasonable amount of time – we are in essence lying to ourselves. Every day that we go to work for a salary that is below what we are worth, we are lying to ourselves.
By the way, there are many people who will tell you credit cards are evil! Don’t ever use them! I have very few things that I steadfastly stand by as a ‘never’. Life is fluid, and when we are mindful we are able to flow with that fluidity. Mindfulness is the key, not dogma.
Take a breath. Make a list of all those things you would just die if anyone knew. It is a good first step.