I'm Ready to Come Clean

Maybe you’ve reached this site because you are not the victim of Financial Infidelity but rather the perpetrator.  It’s a heavy burden, isn’t it?  Perhaps you feel guilty or ashamed or even horrified at your own behavior.

According to a recent study published in the Journal of Financial Therapy 27% of people admitted to some form of Financial Infidelity.  They were asked to say yes or no to each of the following:

  • Pretend a new purchase is an old one
  • Said I bought something on sale but paid full price
  • Hidden purchases/receipts
  • Taken money out of savings without telling my spouse
  • Hidden credit card statements
  • Opened a credit card without telling my spouse
  • Kept a secret account
  • Lied to cover up debt
  • Kept a raise or bonus secret
  • Spent money on the kids without telling my spouse
  • Gambled away money without telling my spouse
  • Lied about the price I paid for something
  • Spent money on pornographic material
  • Filed for bankruptcy without my spouses knowledge

With the exception of the last one, which is legally not possible, anywhere from 4% to 60% of the respondents answered yes. So as you can see, you are not alone.

So why do we do this?  What causes us to behave in a manner that would make us cringe if we were the victim here? 

In most cases I’ve found that there is a ‘good’ reason why it happened.  I don’t mean to say that it was justified.  I mean that at the time the person committing this infidelity thought or felt that it was what they needed to do.

Maybe to survive.  Maybe just to get what they wanted when they wanted it.  Maybe to keep a family together. 

There are a myriad of reasons, explanations, and in some cases - excuses.

Together we can find out what they were and find healthier ways to get your needs met.

I am not here to judge you or to shame you.  I am here to try to help you fix this.  To heal what caused you to do this.  To bring it to light and ensure that it doesn’t happen anymore. 

Remember: This is The No Shame Zone.