15 Questions

15 Questions to ask yourself if you suspect your spouse is keeping a financial secret from you.

  1. Do they have a home office or desk that stays locked and only they have the key?
  2. Are they unwilling to share usernames and passwords for bank accounts and credit cards?
  3. Do new things pop up seemingly out of nowhere?
  4. Do you get vague answers to direct questions?
  5. Does your partner suffer from any addictions such as alcohol, gambling, or drugs that they may be trying to hide from you?  (Addiction alone is not an indicator, but if they are not in recovery it could lead to financial infidelity.)
  6. Is there a clear imbalance of control in the relationship. Is it more parental than equal?
  7. Have you ever seen an account number on any paperwork or online that you didn’t recognize?
  8. Is your partner a collector of anything, maybe even of value, but they’ve told you they don’t buy that anymore?
  9. Do you feel like you have to squirrel away money but can’t really put a finger on why?
  10. Do they use a lot of cash when shopping vs using debit or credit?
  11. Do they have poor impulse control in other areas?
  12. Do they have their mail somewhere other than your home? A PO Box, work, friend or family’s house?
  13. Will they let you see their paystub?  Do you understand all the deductions
  14. Does your partner try to intercept the mail before you?  This is less likely today with everything being online but credit cards still come in the mail.
  15. Do you just have that uh-oh feeling that something isn’t quite right? Do you find yourself saying ‘huh’ to yourself when a question asked is not answered the way you expect?

                              If you can answer yes to any of these questions they may be hiding something from you. Don’t jump to conclusions though because any one of these can be entirely innocent.  Nothing in this list is a determining factor. It’s just a place to begin to shine light on anything that may need to be uncovered.